A bit of libretto

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ScottManson
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Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:02 pm

A bit of libretto

Post by ScottManson » Tue May 22, 2018 5:46 pm

Hi everyone,

For those of you who don't know, I am looking to write an opera.

Can someone please look over these lyrics?
(Also, how many syllables does muoiono have?)

At this point, the lead male character is going to run a way with the princess, who has been forced to marry the prince.

Chi sono?
Chi sono?
Il principio
Non ci trova mai!
Mi venite -
Ho bisogno di te!
Una vita,
Senza preoccupazione
È ciò che ti aspetta!
Quando siamo andati,
Non ci può ferrire!
Vivremo!

Quando luce tramonta,
E ombre dominano,
Noi vivremo in splendore!
Vivremo!
Vivremo!

Dylan Thomas
Posts: 105
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:08 pm

Re: A bit of libretto

Post by Dylan Thomas » Wed May 23, 2018 9:22 pm

Hi ScottManson.

Chi sono? [Is the leading male character speaking here? If so, who is he speaking about?]
Chi sono?
Il principio [Did you want to say, “Il principe”?]
Non ci trova mai! [I’m sorry I don’t understand what you want to say here]
Mi venite – [Could this be “Ma vieni”?]
Ho bisogno di te!
Una vita,
Senza preoccupazione [preoccupazioni]
È ciò che ti aspetta!
Quando siamo andati, [Quando ce ne saremo andati]
Non ci può ferrire! [ferire]
Vivremo!

Quando luce tramonta, [la luce]
E ombre dominano, [le ombre]
Noi vivremo in splendore! [nello splendore]
Vivremo!
Vivremo!

“Muoiono” has got 3 syllables.

DT

ScottManson
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:02 pm

Re: A bit of libretto

Post by ScottManson » Thu May 24, 2018 7:45 am

Thank you so much!

It is the lead male, and he is saying essentially that no one knows who he is.

Non ci trovà mai = He will never find us

I think it is meant to be 'Mi vieni'

I don't really understand 'Quando ce ne saremo andati. Can you explain when I would use the 'ce ne saremo' bit instead of what I had?

Thanks again,
Scott

Dylan Thomas
Posts: 105
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:08 pm

Re: A bit of libretto

Post by Dylan Thomas » Thu May 24, 2018 10:54 pm

Non ci trova mai! [You should use the future tense here like you did in English: “Non ci troverà mai!”]

“Mi vieni” does not make any sense to me. The correct form is “Ma vieni” (Do come!)

“Quando ce ne saremo andati” = literal translation: when we are gone away (he won’t be able to hurt us).

You might want to translate the lyrics into English.

DT

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calum
Posts: 391
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Location: Scozia
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Re: A bit of libretto

Post by calum » Fri May 25, 2018 11:06 am

ScottManson wrote:
Thu May 24, 2018 7:45 am
Thank you so much!

It is the lead male, and he is saying essentially that no one knows who he is.

Non ci trovà mai = He will never find us

I think it is meant to be 'Mi vieni'

I don't really understand 'Quando ce ne saremo andati. Can you explain when I would use the 'ce ne saremo' bit instead of what I had?

Thanks again,
Scott
Hi Scott,

as DT says, you should accompany any Italian passages you want translated with the English version too. Otherwise people have to guess at your intended meaning and that makes things very difficult.

Writing an opera is highly ambitious, let alone doing it in another language so I wish you all the best with it. Keep at it!

ScottManson
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:02 pm

Re: A bit of libretto

Post by ScottManson » Sat May 26, 2018 7:48 am

Thank you both of you!

Here is *my* English translation:

Who am I?
Who am I?
The prince
Will never find us!
Do come -
I need you!
A life,
Without worry
Is what awaits you!
When we have gone,
He cannot hurt us!
We will live!

When light fades
And shadows dominate
We will love in splendour!
We will live!
We will live!


Also, when I post the rest of the libretto here, should I do it in individual songs (there's quote a lot) or 3 or 4 per post?

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calum
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Location: Scozia
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Re: A bit of libretto

Post by calum » Sat May 26, 2018 8:30 am

ScottManson wrote:
Sat May 26, 2018 7:48 am


Also, when I post the rest of the libretto here, should I do it in individual songs (there's quote a lot) or 3 or 4 per post?

It would be better if you post individual songs.

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Peter
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Location: Horsham, West Sussex, England

Re: A bit of libretto

Post by Peter » Sat May 26, 2018 10:15 pm

No doubt it's me being totally thick (!) but I have to ask why it starts Chi sono. Does the princess not know the hero yet?

ScottManson
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Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:02 pm

Re: A bit of libretto

Post by ScottManson » Sun May 27, 2018 7:37 am

Peter wrote:
Sat May 26, 2018 10:15 pm
No doubt it's me being totally thick (!) but I have to ask why it starts Chi sono. Does the princess not know the hero yet?
The princess does know, but it's other people who don't know.

Dylan Thomas
Posts: 105
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:08 pm

Re: A bit of libretto

Post by Dylan Thomas » Sun May 27, 2018 10:12 am

It’s much clearer now, Scott. I would suggest the following:

Chi sono?
Chi sono?
Il principe
Non ci troverà mai!
Vieni, ti prego – [to my eyes, this is much better than “Ma vieni!”]
Ho bisogno di te!
Una vita
senza preoccupazioni
E’ ciò che ci aspetta!
Quando ce ne saremo andati,
Non ci potrà ferire!
Vivremo!

Quando la luce svanirà, [I don’t think “tramontare” is the correct verb here]
E le ombre domineranno,
Vivremo nello splendore!
Vivremo!
Vivremo!

I hope this is of some help.

DT

ScottManson
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:02 pm

Re: A bit of libretto

Post by ScottManson » Mon May 28, 2018 7:40 am

Thank you DT!

That helps a lot. I'm going to start planning the music for this one and post more here, in chronological order (as this one is in the middle.)

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